Summer seems long before it arrives and short as I prepare to return to school. It's been so long since I've written on my blog. And so much has happened.
In early May my mom went into Hospice after a very difficult weekend in the hospital. We thought we were going to lose her that weekend and her oncologist did not think she had more than a few weeks. Our intention was to get her back into her own home, which we did.
As I write this three months later my mom is doing relatively well. She is living in her home and my wonderful cousin is staying with her. I spend some nights at her home, sleeping on a cot at the foot of her bed. She is special to so many people.
The emotions and reality of the finality of life is bringing up so many feelings for me. As a sanctuary we are faced with having to say goodbye to animals and it is never easy. We have accepted the fact that we are at least able to share our lives with these special beings and give them what they would not have had otherwise.
In the coming two years we will likely be saying goodbye to many seniors who have shared their lives with us for so long. This is a time of transition for me. I will be saying goodbye to my horse Jesse, who has been with us for 23 years now and saying goodbye to other beautiful beings.We are thinking we may have to say goodbye to some very sweet and very old friends before the winter comes. Jesse is my sweet horse who is 33 years old. She is very arthritic, has few teeth and is having a hard time keeping weight on. Her companion Wrangler is 30 years old. He is blind and Jesse is his 'bell' horse. He too has very few teeth and he has cancer. He is also challenged in keeping weight on. The two do everything together. They are inseparable.
The biggest transition I am experiencing is knowing I will be saying goodbye to my mother, whom I love deeply. I can't imagine not having my mom and as I write this I feel guilty for even having this conversation, because she is still with us. But I look into the future and what it will be like to not have her pragmatic assurance and sense of humor. She gives me the advise that I feel incapable to giving myself. Her presence and calm reassurance gives me security and confidence.
Recently I shared with my mom that our friend Mary was helping me work with Tucker, an 18 hh Belgian/TB whose mom was going to slaughter even as she was pregnant with him. We rescued Leisl and Tucker was born here. We watched his little foal body emerge on June 2, 2006. My mom was very excited to hear this and she told me that I need to talk to Tucker and get things off my chest. My mom, who is not an 'animal person' confirmed more than she can possibly imagine, in telling me to turn to the animals for comfort and sanity.
I take comfort in knowing that my mom is right there with me when I walk along side Tucker.
In early May my mom went into Hospice after a very difficult weekend in the hospital. We thought we were going to lose her that weekend and her oncologist did not think she had more than a few weeks. Our intention was to get her back into her own home, which we did.
As I write this three months later my mom is doing relatively well. She is living in her home and my wonderful cousin is staying with her. I spend some nights at her home, sleeping on a cot at the foot of her bed. She is special to so many people.
The emotions and reality of the finality of life is bringing up so many feelings for me. As a sanctuary we are faced with having to say goodbye to animals and it is never easy. We have accepted the fact that we are at least able to share our lives with these special beings and give them what they would not have had otherwise.
The biggest transition I am experiencing is knowing I will be saying goodbye to my mother, whom I love deeply. I can't imagine not having my mom and as I write this I feel guilty for even having this conversation, because she is still with us. But I look into the future and what it will be like to not have her pragmatic assurance and sense of humor. She gives me the advise that I feel incapable to giving myself. Her presence and calm reassurance gives me security and confidence.
Recently I shared with my mom that our friend Mary was helping me work with Tucker, an 18 hh Belgian/TB whose mom was going to slaughter even as she was pregnant with him. We rescued Leisl and Tucker was born here. We watched his little foal body emerge on June 2, 2006. My mom was very excited to hear this and she told me that I need to talk to Tucker and get things off my chest. My mom, who is not an 'animal person' confirmed more than she can possibly imagine, in telling me to turn to the animals for comfort and sanity.
I take comfort in knowing that my mom is right there with me when I walk along side Tucker.
Dear Kit, I am at my home in Tampa Florida. It is Friday Sepember 9th. I just now found your River's Wish web site and read yur August blog. It is a great site and heart-felt blog. I am so glad we visited you guys and your rescued friends who get so much love. Of course, the highlight of my visit was spending special time with your mom. She is indeed a gift from God. Love, from your cuz George (smith)
ReplyDeleteDear George. It was so wonderful to see you and Janet and Joe. Mom loved her visit with you. I owe you all for letting her know how much you loved the pigs❤️
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